So I was texting my best friend today and we were talking for like five hours

and at the end of it all we decided that he was a Mormon and I was Satan’s right-hand man

And I accused him of flirting with me and then he accused me of flirting back but really I was just being sarcastic

and when I told him that I was being sarcastic he said “I should have known :(“

Tumblr, you have been so boring lately. I guess that’s good though, considering how much I need to finish.

tomlinsarse:

i’m about to cry

my brother told me that only today he found out that LGBT stood for les/gay/bi/trans instead of lettuce green bacon tomato

he looked at me and he had tears in his eyes and he said in the most horrified voice

i’ve been telling people i like LGBT sandwiches okay that means i’ve been having gay sandwiches

then he started to cry and ran off and yelled

they all think i’ve had gay threesomes!!!!!

i’m actually crying omg 

(via christinejane)